Tag Archives: wordplay

The Insolence of Condensation

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By Maggie Rascal

Don’t even think of showing me any condensation about spurious punctuation, rampant malapropisms, or the shallowness of boasting about deep thoughts…

condensation-condescension

Condensation is upfronting to a deep thinker like me.

Sitting in my bed on a cold rainy night, irked at an uppity bitch who says my writing is ‘confused’ and my punctuation made up,-x*€;>
Her condensation1 upfronts2 me. As my work is too deep to be judged by convectional3 standards.

Mumbo jumbo, gobbledygook, Beelzebub and rhubarb. With other deep thoughts running through my mind,-x*€;>
Waiting for the acolytes4 to pour in. As they will. From those smart enough to get it.

Drifting off to sleep, wandering5 just how many appropriate6 my incredulous7 deepness. While my thoughts are deeply deep,-x*€;>
Thinking deep thoughts about deepness and thoughts. And condensation.

1 condescension
2 affronts
3 conventional
4 accolades
5 wondering
6 appreciate
7 incredible

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© 2015 by M.P. Witwer • All rights deeply preserved

The Spelling Bee

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By Maggie Rascal


Some words that don’t exist, really ought to.   

“The word is ‘peppier,’ pronounced ‘pep-ee-ay’,” announced the spelling bee moderator.

“Definition, please,” replied the entrant, launching by rote into the set of questions she had been taught to ask.

“One who grinds spice onto a diner’s food at a restaurant.”

“What is the origin?”wordcloud

“‘Peppier’ is faux French.”

“Faux French?”

“Yes, that is, it is not truly a French word, but rather a made-up word pronounced in French fashion.”

“Oh, I see. Can you use it in a sentence, please?”

“Pepé, a pretentious, portly peppier with a prominent proboscis, was particularly parsimonious in peppering, his pharaonic phallus producing a paltry portion of the precious provision over my pappardelle pasta.”

“His pharaonic phallus? You do realize I’m in seventh grade, don’t you?”

“Our apologies. We can repeat the sentence without the offending terminology if you wish.”

“No thank you, that won’t be necessary. Peppier: P-E-P-P-I-E-R.”

“Congratulations, that is correct. Please take a seat with the others who have advanced.

“The next word is ‘hinge’; it rhymes with ‘thing’…”

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© 2012 by M.P. Witwer • All rights reserved