Most of us run into folks like this along life’s journey. They’re especially prevalent online.
By Maggie Rascal
Hello, I’m new here,
And I’m better than you:
Smarter – kindlier –
Much cleverer too!
.
You’re stupid – you’re snooty –
You’re unworthy of my precious time.
As for me, it’s plain to see
I’m magnificent and sublime!
.
While I am Secretariat,
Or perhaps Seattle Slew,
The rest of you, a sorry lot,
Are destined to become glue.
.
This may seem rather blunt,
But that’s just how I am.
If my directness hurts you,
Frankly, I don’t give a damn.
.
Please do not advise me
To better communicate.
I’m quite capable in that regard;
My intent is to berate.
.
By laying out these facts,
I don’t mean to be unkind.
My superiority, once accepted,
Is a comfort, you will find.
.
Indeed, what I am doing
Should be welcomed by you all.
In pointing out your shortcomings,
I’m cushioning the fall.
And I’m better than you:
Smarter – kindlier –
Much cleverer too!
.
You’re stupid – you’re snooty –
You’re unworthy of my precious time.
As for me, it’s plain to see
I’m magnificent and sublime!
.
While I am Secretariat,
Or perhaps Seattle Slew,
The rest of you, a sorry lot,
Are destined to become glue.
.
This may seem rather blunt,
But that’s just how I am.
If my directness hurts you,
Frankly, I don’t give a damn.
.
Please do not advise me
To better communicate.
I’m quite capable in that regard;
My intent is to berate.
.
By laying out these facts,
I don’t mean to be unkind.
My superiority, once accepted,
Is a comfort, you will find.
.
Indeed, what I am doing
Should be welcomed by you all.
In pointing out your shortcomings,
I’m cushioning the fall.
Alas, a point of verity:
No one else is very bright.
It’s best to just acknowledge
That I am always right!
.
My logic is impeccable,
My thought processes grand.
Differing with me is clear proof
That you don’t understand.
.
So I’ll explain once again
(Since you’re all somewhat slow):
What I speak is the truth,
Because I say so.
.
Your views might be of value
If they jelled with my opinions.
Though challenges don’t suit me,
I always welcome minions.
.
Yet by small-minded drudges,
I’ve been taunted and eschewed,
For showing the stupendousness
With which I am imbued.
.
I simply cannot fathom
Why so many do not like me.
I’ve announced that I am fabulous—
How dare anyone disagree!
.
You’re all too far beneath me;
I need a brief reprieve.
Climbing back aboard my high horse,
I’ll take my humble leave.
No one else is very bright.
It’s best to just acknowledge
That I am always right!
.
My logic is impeccable,
My thought processes grand.
Differing with me is clear proof
That you don’t understand.
.
So I’ll explain once again
(Since you’re all somewhat slow):
What I speak is the truth,
Because I say so.
.
Your views might be of value
If they jelled with my opinions.
Though challenges don’t suit me,
I always welcome minions.
.
Yet by small-minded drudges,
I’ve been taunted and eschewed,
For showing the stupendousness
With which I am imbued.
.
I simply cannot fathom
Why so many do not like me.
I’ve announced that I am fabulous—
How dare anyone disagree!
.
You’re all too far beneath me;
I need a brief reprieve.
Climbing back aboard my high horse,
I’ll take my humble leave.
* * *
© 2013 by M.P. Witwer. All rights reserved.
© 2013 by M.P. Witwer. All rights reserved.
